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The Sunday Squirrel: the night was dark

For my pacing class, we had to write opening lines based on some version of the sentence “The night was dark”. Each was supposed to include a minimum of the hooks listed in brackets. Below are my attempts. Which ones (if any) hooked you?

  • “I’m not your mother,” she said, rocking gently on the porch swing, her expression hidden in the dark shadows of the night.
    [Shocking or witty dialogue, The totally unexpected, Raising a direct question]
  • I ran from the house, just a shadow in the dark night, and vowed that no matter what happened, I’d die before I ever returned.
    [Action or danger, overpowering emotion]
  • The night plunged into darkness and the tilt-a-whirl ground to a halt, screeching like the souls of the dead.
    [A surprising situation, An evocative situation]
  • The hunchbacked elder shuffled out of the dark night into the tavern, silver medallions around his leathery neck clinking with each step, his voice strong as he wailed, “The Devil himself rides this way.”
    [Introducing a unique character, Warning or foreshadowing]

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